Biographies of The Charley Farley Sunday Four

Brother Charley Farley

Brother Charley was out toiling in the fields one day when he heard the voice of God. It said “Form a band from your brothers and play swing/skiffle/jazz/blues/rock”. Even God doesn’t know how to categorise our music. At that moment, Brother Charley unearthed the famous chest of Farley songs, with original copies dating back to the 19th Century.

He ran into the farmstead and excitedly shouted "Ma, Ma! I've unearthed the holy grail of music!" to which the sage Ma Farley replied "You still need to wash your hands before supper, Charles Humperdink Inglasias Farley".

Brother Adam Farley

It’s often been said that if it weren’t for his pivotal role in the Charley Farley Sunday Four, brother Adam would be a social outcast. It’s not that he has any personal dysfunction, it’s just that nobody likes him.

His mastery of music is unquestioned, unlike his sexuality, and it is the inspirational guidance of Brother Adam that keeps the Farleys on the skiffle straight and narrow. Without his swing compass they would be adrift on the ocean of easy listening. Lord have mercy!

Brother Bruce Farley

As a small child, Brother Bruce was bitten by a saxophone and from that day has been observed to have special powers; he can play a tune on practically any instrument. Sadly that tune is Agadoo and of no real use to man.

A constant disappointment to Pa Farley, Bruce was never able to play more than one instrument simultaneously, although several drunken attempts and visits to Accident and Emergency pay testiment to his determination to make it a reality.

Brother Jason Farley

Bizarrely the only Jewish member of the Farley family, it’s Jason’s job to keep his banjo out of tune to give the Farleys that authentic ‘caravan jazz’ feel. Jason in fact studied at the Royal Academy of Music and has had to throw away years of training to sound this bad.

In his early years he showed promise as a playwrite, poet and stand-up comedian, although Pa Farley had the foresight to beat that out of him early on with a copy of The Old Testamente of the Good South.

Brother Phil McFarley

Phil is in fact a cousin of the Farley brothers, but it’s such a close-knit family no one actually noticed. He was bought a toy guitar at the age of two and has never been able to part with what has become his security blanket, now passing it off as a ukulele.

Phil has the distinguished honour of being emergency standby bassist for the Bay City Rollers, and is known to deep fry road-kill as a preference to kebab. His musical influences include Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.

Brother Tom ‘Stig’ Farley

Profoundly deaf from birth, Tom ‘The Stig’ Farley is so called because he never talks and no one knows who he is - even Ma Farley has been known to say “Tom who?”. In fact the eldest of the brothers Farley, Tom has been kept young through the power of prayer.

Although suspected of being a vampire - because he has yet to be captured in a Farleys photograph - we can reveal that he is quite partial to garlic and wears a crucifix at all times, being the most devout of the brothers.